Why Do This? Ramblings

Its a question I have been asking myself for a while now. One of the big ones for me is to see if I can pull it off, be the one solely responsible for my success or failure. To see if I can turn an idea in my head into something more. Ever had those ideas that seem great in the moment? I have had a few of those -- even before this one. Why is this one different? At least I have taken more steps to making this one a reality than any of my other ones. Is this what a mid-life crisis is?

As of right now (Nov 2025), the website is not online, this blog would be nothing more than putting my thoughts on virtual paper for none other than myself to know about. I could walk away, no harm done. maybe with each successive idea I get closer to making one a reality. I think this one is really close. Unlike some of my previous ideas, this one has stuck with me and held my mind longer than the others. Every idea I had previously, I was convinced was "it" in that moment, but I would let it percolate in my mind and see if it would age like wine or milk. Maybe I was trying to hard, all my previous ideas had been borne out of trying to force something to happen.

This idea is different.

This was never the plan. The MX-5 was the result of a combination of being financially responsible and an inescapable urge to shake things up. I didn't need a second car, I have never had (or needed) two cars before, it doesn't make any logical sense -- but over those several months before I purchased the MX-5 it was as if logic for me went on vacation. Looking back on it, it just seems stupid and one of my traits that I am typically proud of -- is my logic. WTF happened to me during those months?

As for this idea.

the easy path would be to abandon this idea. I would live well, be comfortable and follow in the path that so many others have tread before me. I am thankful for being in such a fortunate position, being able to sit down and think it through with the only limitation being the winter season we are currently in. This is a great test, if this continues to stay in my thoughts through winter.

I have spoken to my dad about this, his response was about as I expected. After all, he has provided for a family of four, saved well and held down a single career throughout his working years and is now enjoying the benefits of doing what society at the time expected of him. I wonder if he ever had thoughts about following a passion, or trying something new? Did he have such a luxury?